Sleep...

Once again I find myself sitting here in front of my computer late at night with my headphones on listening to the BYU Singer's performance of Eric Whitacre's majestic and moving work, Sleep. I'm so savoring this stunning sound--it's so dreamlike and magical. I know I listen to it repeatedly, along with other Whitacre music performed by the BYU Singers, as an avenue of escape from the stressful circumstances in which I still find myself.

And one more time, it will most likely be 2:00AM before I get to bed.  My preference is to be in bed on school nights (Sun-Thurs) by midnight at the latest, but, alas, the night owl in me seems to always carry the day, er, the night, that is.  Also, not going to bed earlier is yet another coping/avoidance mechanism.  It's part of a cycle of procrastination in addressing and doing something about the challenges I'm facing.

So I texted Jack today.  Yeah, I said I'd let Jack go and not worry about him anymore.  It was dumb of me, but then, the heart rarely pays any attention to what the brain is telling it.  I told Jack I missed him yesterday since we were supposed to hang out and I didn't hear from him. He texted me back, for a wonder, and said he was sorry but he's been busy with work and school and all. And my thoughts are, aren't we all busy?  K, now I'm done with texting him.  Seriously.  Unless he texts me again, of course  :-)

Tomorrow is my date with BJ--er, later today since I'm posting after midnight again. He hasn't been extremely communicative with me. It's kinda strange. It's as though he's waiting on me to always take charge and take the lead in everything. Same thing in conversation. Not sure how I feel about that. I definitely prefer a 50-50 relationship. We'll see how it goes.

Ok, I was gonna write more, but now it's 2:00 AM and so I get to go to bed now.  At least I have clean sheets tonight after doing some laundry today.   :-)

Till next time, Love and light...