Easter Sunday

I don't want this blog to become a chore. So, it has to remain a stream of consciousness kind of affair where I don't put much thought or preparation time into it. Today I was thinking about how everyone always says Happy Easter and what that really means. Sometimes I feel as though my relationship with God and with my Savior is non-existent.  Of course, that's all my doing.  I know that. I do pray but it's sporadic and not very engaging. What do I expect?

I'm so stubborn. I resist admitting that I can't do it alone. I never have been able to do it alone and I never will be able to do it alone. 'It' referring to realizing my goals, living life successfully and pursuing happiness, and, ultimately to redemption from my short comings. But I know I am a powerful creator and I'm accountable for my actions.  I am not a victim.

Today I sat at the table in my parent's dining room after a nice Easter dinner staring at an article and accompanying picture in the paper about a guy--Jack--whom I had met and hung out with once. They pulled the paper out to show me the article and his picture because it was a recent example of a feel good story.  Jack is a hero of sorts as he recently saved a 19 month old child from a burning house with little thought for his own safety. Little did my parents know that I had made out with Jack and done other things with Jack.

Neither of my parents know I'm gay.  A few straight friends and some family know. I'm out to some people, but not to all and particularly not to my parents.  That subject will be for another day.  Anyway, the point is that for me it was all very surreal. For my parents, Jack is just some random guy who saved a baby from dying.  And there we were talking about his bravery. For me, Jack is someone much more.

My date with BJ went better than the first one did. I think that's because he was more open and conversational this time. We went and saw Scream 4 cuz he likes horror/slasher films. It was actually funnier and better than I expected. I think BJ and I will continue to get to know each other.

I deserve to finish my reply to Justan and post it on his Facebook status. He had posted a link to a video entitled, 'Your religion is a fairy tale--Wake Up.' I'm working my way through the video to point out the illogic of most of what is presented in the vid.  What fun, eh?  Maybe I'll share some or all of my post here once I finish it.

Ok. Tomorrow, now that I finally have the funds available, I get to go to the bank, get a cashier's check and mail it off to get my home loan reinstated and avoid having my house go to auction next week. Now, THAT's fun.  Right?

Till next time--peace, love, and light.