I feel a bit betrayed by Greg (FI). But when it comes to matters of the heart, the heart will go where it wants to go. He blind sided me with an interest he now appears to have in someone else. And where he told me 'no' to traveling to see him over a weekend, he let this other guy go visit him. It kinda hurts and I'm not sure of where I stand with Greg. I like him a lot and I at least want to remain friends with him. But I'll stay open to possibility and just deal with the hurt for now. Good communication and how I show up in the relationship matters too, of course.
I'm missing Jeff. He's been gone back home for the summer for almost three weeks now. But, since he is 22 years young and has issues with himself that he is still dealing with, and since he is still in school and is still unsure of his direction in life, our relationship is destined, I believe, to be headed more toward an intermediate level friendship than anything else. I will create love and light and friendship as much as I can towards Jeff. And the rest will be up to him. But the bigger question is, if he offered it, would I be open and willing to go the distance in making the relationship more than friendship?
Have you ever had a decision to make and a course of action to take that your heart tells you will be for the best and yet your brain, your wonderful, powerful mind--whether conscious or sub-conscious--keeps hitting you with negative talk about your ability to take that course of action? I'm facing that situation right now as I am on the precipice of moving forward with selling Mortgage Protection and End of Life Insurance part time.
I've never done anything like this before and although I have no doubt I am capable of pulling it off, still, my mind keeps hitting me with self doubt. I will definitely get to use my Impact Training tools to be able to move forward and execute.
One thing I get to do is to continue listening to my heart and stay open to possibility and to be open to the assistance of God and the Universe. And when my mind injects negative self talk into my consciousness, I get to say to my mind, 'Thank you for your contribution, now sit down and shut up!' :-)
I saw a lightning display from a summer thunderstorm on the east side of Utah County around Mt Timpanogas that was probably the most intense and spectacular lightning display I have seen since I left Florida! And I must say Mother Nature's fireworks are much more brilliant and spectacular than anything humanity has yet to achieve.
I get to remember to pace myself and not let too much of other guys' shit and drama get to me or drag me down or drain too much energy from me. I get to surround myself with positive, upbeat, emotionally stable people and do what I can when I can to assist others without being taken advantage of or pushing my limits.
Until next time, peace, love and light...
